


Back in the Present

by teennplantt



Series: Back in the 90's [2]
Category: BoJack Horseman
Genre: Feelings, Hallucinations, M/M, Suicidal Thoughts, Suicide Attempt, canon character death, drug overdose
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-03-04
Updated: 2020-03-04
Packaged: 2021-02-23 12:21:28
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 5,163
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23011435
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/teennplantt/pseuds/teennplantt
Summary: BoJack returns from Malibu and has to cope with everything that happened between him and Herb. Diane and Mr. Peanutbutter's engagement gets tested.
Relationships: BoJack Horseman & Diane Nguyen, BoJack Horseman/Herb Kazzaz
Series: Back in the 90's [2]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1653787
Comments: 2
Kudos: 27





	Back in the Present

**Author's Note:**

> i don't feel bad. maybe a little

"Jeez, what happened in Malibu?" Princess Carolyn asked. 

"Nothing. I gotta go," Bojack ended the call and pulled over onto the side of the road. 

"For what it's worth, I think it took a lot of guts for you to go back there," Diane offered. "I know that doesn't change how things went, but-" 

"He couldn't even say one nice thing to me, and now he's gonna be gone. Forever. I'm never gonna get to hear him say he loves me." 

"I know this is hard." 

"You have no idea. No offense, you just don't. You have Mr. Peanutbutter." 

"Yeah, but sometimes I think he's completely wrong for me. He's so happy and carefree-" 

"He's a Zelda." 

"And I'm a Zoe," Diane stared at her hands which were folded in her lap. "I can't change it either. I mean, I try to be happy, but then I just end up feeling more damaged." 

"Diane, you're not damaged. You're the only good thing about my life." 

"Do you ever think maybe the world would be a better place if you weren't in it?" Tears welled up in the corners of Diane's eyes. "I'm a pit which good things fall into, and I just know I'm hurting Mr. Peanutbutter, and everything sucks so much all the time. And it never gets any easier. They tell you it gets easier, but it doesn't." 

"Life's a bitch, and then you die." 

"Bojack, it doesn't matter that Herb doesn't love you. There are plenty of people who do love you." 

"Sure, there are millions of people who love me, but no one actually likes me." 

"I do. I like you, warts and all." 

"Thanks, Diane." Bojack looked over and gave her a small smile. Impulsively, she leaned into Bojack's personal space and kissed him. She tried to get closer, but the center console in the car kept them apart. Bojack's eyes went wide, and he pulled away from the kiss before it could go any further. 

"Oh, shit," Bojack said. 

"Fuck." 

\---

"I just got caught up in the moment is all," Herb chuckled awkwardly as he stepped away from Bojack. 

"Yeah, I get it," Bojack nodded. He wished he had the words to describe how wonderful it had felt when Herb finally kissed him, how much he wanted to do it again. But the moment had passed, and there was no way to recapture it. Bojack hung his head as he realized that was all he was ever going to have. Just little moments with the man of his dreams. 

"Why don't we go back to my place?" Herb suggested. "It's getting pretty late." 

"It's only 7," Bojack chuckled, but he agreed because he would do anything to make Herb happy. Herb drove them to his apartment, and they opened a bottle of wine. Bojack wasn't much of a drinker, especially not around Herb because he didn't want to risk embarrassing himself. 

Herb finished off most of the wine, and Bojack listened as he rambled about his life. Where he had been, places he had seen, and then where he still wanted to go. Bojack waited with baited breath for Herb to continue. He loved to hear the man talk and to be so close with him, but as Herb was talking about Tokyo, he suddenly went silent. 

"Herb?" Bojack shook his shoulder lightly, and Herb batted his hand away. 

"'m too tired." 

"Too tired for what?" 

"Too tired for Tokyo. It's just a dream. We're all just dreamin' in a city that'll suck the dreams right out of you till you're dry." 

"Don't say that. One day we'll go to Tokyo, okay? And you'll see it was everything you wanted it to be."

"I sure hope so," Herb sighed. He curled into Bojack's side. "The secret is that nothing makes anyone happy. There are just things, all this big collection of things, that make you less miserable. And then one day you kick the bucket. That's life." 

"You make me happy," Bojack said because he was confident that Herb wouldn't remember much of this conversation and because he'd been wanting to say it for a long time. 

"If you put your happiness in other people, you'll spend your whole life chasing after it. Don't be an idiot, BJ." 

\---

Diane paced nervously on Bojack's front step. She wrung her hands and considered running back to her car and driving away, but before she had time to make her escape, Bojack opened the door. 

"Diane," he seemed surprised to see her despite their scheduled meeting. 

"Hey, pal!" Diane grinned too widely and spoke too loudly. 

"Are you here to interview me again? Don't you have enough to write the book?" 

"Uh...yeah, I guess I do." 

"Yeah," Bojack sighed. "Maybe you should just go and write it then." 

"Okay, I'll do that." There was a beat of silence where they just stared at each other, as though they were waiting for the other person to say something. 

"Why'd you have to make things weird, Diane?" Bojack went back inside and shut the door, but Diane barged inside. 

"I didn't mean to make things weird, okay? I was just scared, and I'm sorry. But don't rake me over the coals for this! I'm not the one who hurt you." 

"No, you're just the person who forced me to confront the person who actually hurt me, and made it all go to shit by tackling him!" 

"In my defense, it went to shit way before that, and you should've heard the stuff he was saying about you. I was trying to defend you." 

"No one asked you to do that, and for your information, I heard every word he was saying about me. I've heard it all before. I'm selfish, and I'm a coward, and Horsin' Around was the only important thing in Herb's life, and I was so low on the list of people Herb actually gave a shit about- fuck, I gotta call Dave." 

"Herb's old agent?"

"Yeah, I gotta know what happened to him." 

"So...can I stay?" 

"I guess. Sorry, by the way. It's not your fault that Herb's...y'know." 

"I know. Thanks anyways." 

"Diane?"

"Yeah?"

"You mean a lot to me, and you're the only person who actually gets me. And you still choose to like me even though I don't really deserve it." Bojack pulled out his phone and scrolled through his contacts until he landed on Dave's number. He took a deep breath and pressed call. 

"Hello?" Dave pressed accept call while trying to keep his eyes on the road. 

"Hey, it's Bojack. Horseman, obviously." 

"So you finally decided you wanna tear me a new one for fucking your ex-husband? You're a few years too late. I was in a bad car accident, and I broke both my legs. So good luck not looking like a cock-sucker for beating up someone in a wheelchair." 

"Actually, I just wanted to know what happened between you and Herb. He never said anything." 

"Have you seen Herb lately? He looks like shit. I dodged a bullet on that one." 

"Yeah, I just got back from his place actually. See, I'm writing this memoir-" 

"Bojack, don't you think if I gave a fuck, I would've asked?" 

"Just tell me what happened between you and Herb, dick-brain!" 

\---

Dave startled awake to the sound of the morning radio. "Good morning, Hollywood. It's another beautiful sunny day in 2007, the year when Bojack and Herb got divorced." Dave groaned and shut off the clock, and Herb came into the bedroom with a cup of coffee. 

"You can go back to sleep. I'm not going anywhere," Herb chuckled as he offered him the coffee. 

"You never do," Dave scoffed. He sat up and took the coffee out of Herb's hands.

"I made it-" 

"Just the way I like it," Dave interjected irritably. "Two sugars, no cream. I know how I take my coffee."

"I was just trying to do something nice." 

"And you failed because no matter how many sugars you put in this fucking coffee, it still tastes like piss." 

"I'm sorry. Uh...so what do you wanna do today?" 

"Well, some of us have work to do." Dave sat up and placed the coffee on the nightstand before he started getting dressed for work. 

\---

"Yeah, after your divorce, he just got clingy. He was always at my house and trying to spend time with me," Dave groaned. "It was pathetic." 

"You have no idea what you were missing." 

"I know. I know. I offended you because you were actually in love with Herb, but I wasn't. I just didn't realize it until after I ruined your life, but listen, BJ-" 

"It's Bojack, actually. Not that hard to say. It's the same number of syllables as BJ." 

"Okay, listen, Bojack, if it hadn't been me, it would've been someone else. Herb didn't love you, ever." 

"You realize how shitty that is to say to someone, right?" 

"Anyways..." 

\---

"I don't know what I'm doing wrong," Herb wiped his eyes furiously. 

\---

"Wait. Is this one of those things where you're gonna try to make me feel bad for Herb because he went through the same thing that I went through only it was with someone else, and maybe I should just forgive him and let all of this go because it was-" Bojack looked at the calendar. "Shit. Thirteen years ago." 

"No doy." 

"So I'm just supposed to realize that Herb may not have had feelings for me, but that's not really his fault because in the end, none of us actually have control over our emotions? And you can't choose who you love, and we're all just wandering around on this planet trying to make ourselves a little mess miserable everyday, but not everything's going to work?" 

"Yeah." 

"That's depressing." 

"Not really because then it's not your fault that Herb didn't love you." 

"Huh," Bojack frowned slightly. "I guess when you put it like that, it doesn't seem so bad." 

"Glad I could help. Do me a favor and delete my number," Dave said before ending the call. 

"So what happened to Dave?" Diane asked when Bojack set down the phone. 

"Uneventful." 

"You wanna get drunk and watch old episodes of Horsin' Around?"

"No." 

"What do you want then?" 

"I don't know." Bojack stared at his countertop where his phone sat, and he felt empty. "I want all the years I spent trying to get Herb to love me back. Am I just doomed to fall in love with people who refuse to see me? Is it because my mother was cold and distant, and now that's what I'm attracted to? Am I just so broken that I can't fathom that anyone would wanna love me, so I hurt everyone who does?" 

"You're none of those things. You're...you're Bojack Horseman." 

"That doesn't help." 

"I'm sorry. I don't know what you want me to say. You can't change the past, but you do have some power over your future," Diane sighed. "I'm gonna go write your book now, so I'll see you around." 

"Yeah, see you."

\---

"What're you thinking?" Herb asked. He reached out and placed a hand over Bojack's. 

"I need some air," Bojack pulled away and stepped out onto the balcony. He took a long swig from the bottle in his hand, and he forced himself not to glance back at Herb. He looked like he hadn't aged a day since the production of Horsin' Around had stopped, and he was holding back tears. Tears that Bojack was responsible for, and if Bojack could collect all of the tears he'd been responsible for in his lifetime, he could fill his swimming pool. For some reason, they were at his house in Hollywood, and Bojack still dawned a gold wedding band around his finger. 

Bojack didn't hear the door open, but suddenly Herb was standing next to him on the balcony. 

"This is your fault," Herb whispered, but his words sounded like they were being broadcast to Bojack's entire mind. "It's my fault too, for thinking I could ever love you. You're a joke. C'mon, what do you say?" He took Bojack's hand and led him closer to the edge of the balcony. "Let's jump together. On three. One...two..." Bojack shut his eyes, and he could feel the wind in his hair. A tear rolled down his cheek as he said his last goodbye to the earth that had been stupid enough to put him on it. He deserved this, whether he liked it or not, he deserved to pay for all the shitty things he'd done. All the people he'd hurt. 

"Three," Herb's voice cut through Bojack's thoughts, and they were falling. Bojack heard the distant laughter of a small girl followed shortly by a soft chuckle from Herb. Bojack looked back up at the balcony to see Herb waving down at him, and he tried to fight through the inevitable. 

"Help me!" Bojack opened his mouth to scream, but the wind distorted the sound. 

"It's too late. You're doomed," Herb laughed. "This is all you'll ever be!" Bojack tried to devise a plan. He could survive a two story drop; he was just going to be a little banged up. But he could keep going. He didn't want to die. It wasn't too late for him. 

"I could never save you from yourself, BJ. You've always been the same shitty person, and it's time you stopped blaming other people for your problems. You're broken." Bojack hit the ground, and it immediately began to sink around him. 

"Tar pit," he gasped. He tried to sit up, but he was in too much pain from the fall. He couldn't breathe, and everything went black. He heard the laughter of the young girl again as he sank beneath the surface. 

\---

Bojack jolted awake with a gasp and sat up, trying to catch his breath. 

"What's the matter, BJ?" Herb rolled over and put his hand on Bojack's stomach comfortingly. "Bad dream?" 

"Goddamnit, what did I take?" Bojack stumbled out of bed and went to his medicine cabinet. 

"Come back to bed," Herb whined. He followed Bojack into the bathroom and wrapped his arms around Bojack's waist. "Don't worry about it." He took the bottle of pills out of Bojack's hand and tossed them over his shoulder. 

"This isn't real," Bojack shook his head. "I'm gonna wake up again, and I'm gonna call Diane. I'll be okay, right?"

"You took a lot of pills, BJ."

"Yeah, but I always take a lot of pills." 

"You're never waking up," Herb leaned up to give Bojack a kiss. "But it's okay. Now we can be together forever. Come back to bed." 

"No," Bojack pushed Herb aside and went back to the bedroom. "I have to find my phone and call Diane." 

"Doesn't that seem like a lot of work?" Herb followed him and leaned against the doorframe. "Wouldn't you rather have a nice long nap?" Bojack tore through the bed looking for his phone. "Looking for this?" Herb dangled Bojack's phone between his fingers. 

"Yes, I'm very obviously looking for that, jackass. That's what I just said." 

"You can't have it," Herb pocketed the phone. "You can't annoy Diane with your little problem. You're going to die here, and there's nothing you can do to stop it." 

"Todd!" Bojack screamed. "Todd, help me! Where's Todd?" 

"I took care of him, BJ. It's just the two of us now, and you're gonna enjoy this. It's all you've ever wanted." 

"Not like this," Bojack shook his head. "All I wanted was for you to love me." 

"If you want me to love you, you'll stay right here with me." Herb climbed onto the bed and stroked Bojack's mane. "Forever." 

\---

Diane rushed into the waiting room and went up to the counter.

"Diane, thank god!" Todd panted. 

"Where's Bojack?" 

"He's in an ambulance," Todd said. "He should be right behind us." 

"What happened?" 

"He took a bunch of pills after I fell asleep, and I woke up, and he was screaming for me to help him. And he must have been having some sort of hallucination because he kept talking to someone." 

"Shit," Diane looked away as the paramedics carted Bojack inside on a stretcher. "Is he gonna be alright?" 

"I don't know. He didn't look so good." Todd sat down in the waiting area, and Diane took a seat beside him. 

"It's gonna be okay," Diane pat Todd's hand reassuringly. "You can always sleep on my couch." They sat in silence for a while, just watching the time pass. Every minute seemed to drag on for four times its usual duration. 

The sun rose over the hospital, and Diane and Todd were struggling not to nod off on each other's shoulders. They were still being denied the ability to visit Bojack, since the doctors were insisting that he rest, but they both silently agreed that they weren't leaving until they got to see him. Mr. Peanutbutter stepped through the automatic double doors, and he handed Diane a cup of coffee. 

"Hey," he sat down beside Diane and put his arm around her shoulders. "How're you holding up?" 

"Not so good," Diane yawned and took the lid off her coffee to blow on it. "They're still not allowing any visitors, and the doctors won't tell us anything. So Bojack could be dead for all we know." 

"He'll pull through this," Mr. Peanutbutter said hopefully. "God knows he's been through worse, and he always comes out the other side."

"That's the difference. This time I don't know if he even Wants to come out the other side." Diane set her coffee down to wrap her arms around her fiancé. "It's my fault." She began to weep. "I should never have forced him to go to Malibu and see Herb again, and I shouldn't have-" 

"Shh," Mr. Peanutbutter rubbed circles over Diane's back comfortingly. "Hey, it's not your fault. You were just trying to help." 

"Yeah, and all I did was send him into a downward spiral and tackle his dying ex-husband and then try to kiss him. I'm so stupid," Diane wiped her eyes. 

"Um...what was that last thing?" 

"I'm so stupid?" 

"No, the other thing." 

"I tackled Herb?" 

"I feel like you're intentionally guessing the wrong things." 

"Whaaaaat?" Diane laughed nervously. "I definitely didn't get emotional about us getting married and then try to kiss Bojack while he was equally emotional about his ex-husband rejecting him again and then feel even worse about myself because not even Bojack wants to kiss me, and what does that say about me? Am I so undesirable that even though I fall for all the wrong people, people who I know don't make good decisions and are probably bad for me, they don't want to be with me? I'm kinda spiraling now, aren't I? The point is: I didn't kiss Bojack. That's a thing that didn't happen." 

"Diane-" 

"Okay, I did! I tried to kiss him, but he stopped it. And it doesn't matter now because I know for sure that I want to be with you. I mean, Bojack does understand me more, and he's complex, and I like that. And he's interesting, but I'm not like in love with him or anything."

"Diane-" 

"Okay, so maybe I had a little crush on him because of all the emotions that the book is bringing up, and he said that I'm the only good thing about his life. And maybe I'm selfish for wanting to be around someone who makes me feel like I have a purpose." 

"I don't make you feel like you have a purpose?" Mr. Peanutbutter frowned. 

"Seems like you guys have this under control. I'm gonna go see if the vending machine will give me free candy," Todd announced. He stood from his seat and walked across the room to the vending machine. 

"No," Diane shook her head. "You don't. You just do whatever pops into your head at that moment, and that's great because it's fun. But maybe I don't want fun." 

"What do you want?" 

"I want what anybody wants. I want to feel like I matter." 

"Diane, you matter to me. I wouldn't have asked you to marry me if you weren't one of the best things about my life. I mostly just sleep all day and wait for you to get home, and when your car pulls into the driveway, I go bananas. How does none of that make you feel like you have a purpose?" 

"Because you were fine before, without me, and if I left, you'd probably go back to being fine."

"So you just want someone to save? That's why you're so attracted to Bojack. It has nothing to do with him. It's that you wanna feel like someone Needs you. Well, if you want a liability, be my guest. I hope you and Bojack have a wonderful life together constantly making sure one of you isn't killing themselves," Mr. Peanutbutter snapped, and Diane gasped. 

"I told you that was one time, and I wasn't trying to kill myself! I fell asleep in the bathtub!" 

"Mr. Horseman is stable if any of you would like to visit him," one of the nurses interrupted. "Um...only one visitor at a time, though. It's best not to overwhelm him." 

"I'll go," Diane stood and followed the nurse upstairs to Bojack's room. She took a deep breath before going inside. 

"I was hoping it'd be you. I don't think I could handle seeing Todd right now." 

"Mr. Peanutbutter's here too, and Princess Carolyn sent me a text that was just a jumble of letters. I assume that means she's on her way, or she fell asleep at the wheel. It's pretty early." 

"Sorry, I should've tried to OD at a more convenient time." 

"So you did...I mean, you did it on purpose? 

"Yeah." 

"Why?" 

"You know why." 

"No, I really don't. I don't understand how you can be so hung up over someone that you'd want to kill yourself." 

"It isn't Herb. It's everything. Part of me wishes that I hadn't yelled for Todd to help me. I should've just laid there and taken my medicine." 

"I told Mr. Peanutbutter that I tried to kiss you, and we were really having it out before the nurse told us you could have a visitor. You picked a good time to wake up." 

"Diane, do you think it's too late for me?" 

"No, Bojack. Sometimes it's not about who we are now, it's about who we were then. And as long as you're moving forward, that's something to be proud of." 

"How could anyone be proud of me? I'm a pathetic mess who's just waking up from a drug overdose." 

"I'm proud of you." 

"Would it be totally insane if we made out right now?" Diane stepped closer to Bojack's bed and leaned down hesitantly to kiss him. Bojack reached out and wrapped an arm around her waist to pull her closer. She crushed their lips together again and climbed onto the bed to get a better angle. Bojack moaned softly as Diane straddled his lap and rolled her hips against his. She broke away briefly to fling off her jacket and laughed when Bojack tried to sit up in bed but hit his head against the headboard. 

"You think it's easy being hooked up to all these machines?" Bojack chuckled. He looked up at Diane, and she cleared her throat awkwardly. "I guess the moment's over, huh?" 

"What're we doing?" 

"What do you wanna do?" Bojack asked. "You're kinda running the show from up there." 

"I don't know. I feel shitty," Diane sighed. "I don't wanna hurt Mr. Peanutbutter, and I don't wanna put you in the weird position of hurting him either." 

"Then I think literally hopping off my dick would be a good first move." 

"Yeah, but...there's another part of me that's wants to do things that I'm not allowed to charge for." 

"You're off the clock," Bojack shrugged. 

"You're not making this any easier." 

"What did you expect?" 

"I expected you to tell me that you like me, and you wanna be with me." 

"That's true." 

"But we can't be together because I'm engaged to Mr. Peanutbutter, and then you'd kiss me on the cheek and tell me to go home because I've been up all night worrying about you." Bojack leaned up and kissed Diane gently on the cheek. 

"Go home, Diane. You've been up all night, and you should probably get some rest." 

"Thanks," Diane smiled and climbed off the bed. She grabbed her jacket and pulled it on over her shoulders. "I'll see you tomorrow." 

"Why? You're not writing my book anymore." 

"That doesn't mean I can't check up on my friend." Diane pat Bojack on the shoulder. "I hope you feel better." 

"Yeah, you too." 

"Diane?" Bojack called after her before she could reach the door. 

"Yeah?" 

"Are you really gonna marry him?" 

"I don't know." 

"Is it because of me?" 

"It's because of a lot of things. Don't try to turn this into something else you can blame yourself for." 

"Oh, okay." 

\---

"You shouldn't have fought me so hard," Herb shook his head as he took a seat beside Bojack's bed. 

"Shut up. You're just a hallucination, or this is my shitty brain's idea of a dream." 

"I prefer to think of myself as a manifestation of your guilt," Herb shrugged. "I'm only here because you want me to be. You feel like you deserve to pay for all the bad things you've done, and I can tell you there are a lot of them. This most recent one, though, making out with your friend's fiancé. That's low. Even for you." 

"Says the guy who cheated on me for eight years." 

"We're not here to talk about me, BJ. We're here to talk about what a sad sack of shit you've become. You're so pathetic you couldn't even manage to kill yourself properly." 

"Can I ask you something?"

"What do I care? This is your imagination." 

"Do you forgive me?" 

"You know I don't. I said it in Malibu. I'm not gonna give you the satisfaction of closure. You deserve to vilify yourself for every shitty thing you did to screw up our marriage." 

"I know I do. I forgive you, though, for everything. I just want you to love me." 

"When you wake up, give me a call. I'm living out my last days, and I wanna talk to you." 

Bojack's eyes shot open, and he was staring up at the ceiling in his hospital bed. He rolled over and found his phone laying beside Todd's sleeping head on the nightstand. He scrolled through his contacts and clicked on Herb's number. His blood ran cold as the phone rang and rang. 

"BJ?" Herb groaned. "What is it? It's three in the morning." 

"I had a dream where you told me to call you, and I know it's stupid-" 

"The hospital called me to tell me you'd been admitted. I guess I'm still your emergency contact. What happened?" 

"Drug overdose. Same thing that always happens. I try to kill myself and pussy out, and my friends are left to deal with the mess. I get why you don't wanna be with me. I wouldn't wanna be with me." 

"I was gonna come visit you, actually. Will you still be there tomorrow?" 

"Yeah, they're keeping me for observation, and they have to ween the drugs out of my system." 

"I'll see you then. I have some good news." 

"They're finally doing a Horsin' Around reunion?" 

"What?" Herb laughed. "No, why would they do that?" 

"I don't know. A guy can dream," Bojack shrugged. 

"Goodnight, BJ." 

"Goodnight, Herb." 

\---

"Go fish," Bojack sighed. 

"Awww," Todd groaned as he drew a card from the top of the deck. "Ooh, an eight! Hooray!" 

"Do you have any four's?" Mr. Peanutbutter asked. 

"Go fish," Todd shook his head. 

"Your turn," Mr. Peanutbutter turned to Bojack expectantly. 

"I don't wanna play anymore," Bojack set down his cards and turned on the television. He checked the time on his phone once again and let out a heavy sigh. Mr. Peanutbutter and Todd exchanged a worried glance. 

"Umm...I have Uno," Todd said. 

"No."

"Charades?" 

"I can barely get out of this bed to take a piss. I'm not playing charades." 

"Pictionary?"

"I think visiting time is over," Bojack turned his attention away from the television to glare at Todd. 

"We're just trying to help," Mr. Peanutbutter put a hand on Bojack's shoulder as he stood to stretch. "And part of being good friends is that we're not gonna make you wait up all night to see if Herb may or may not make it alone." 

"You guys have done enough. Where's Diane?" 

"She said she had a lot of work to get done today. Why do you care?" Mr. Peanutbutter tightened his grip on Bojack's shoulder. 

"I'm not gonna get into this because I wanna kick your ass, but I'm bedridden." 

"I think there's no time like the present. Why don't you tell me what happened during your visit with Diane yesterday?"

"I'm sorry. Are you mad because I kissed your fiancée or because you could never satisfy a woman, and that's why they all come running to me?" 

"The only thing you can satisfy is your pillow!"

"He's not wrong about that one, BJ," Herb chuckled as he stepped into the room.

"Herb," Bojack's jaw dropped. "I didn't think you were coming. Honestly, I thought I dreamt that phone call last night. Why are you here?" 

"My cancer's gone into remission, and the doctors think I should make a full recovery," Herb said. "I did a lot of thinking after you left, and I thought I was going to die. And I came here to tell you that I forgive you. I wasn't always the best husband either, but I think...if you gave me the chance, I could be better." 

"Is this one of those things where you ask me to marry you to further your career, and then you cheat on me for eight years?" 

"I don't know. Is this one of those things where you wake up, and realize it was all a dream and I never made it to the hospital?" 

"You didn't make it to the hospital," Bojack repeated the words to himself. 

"I got into a car accident, and you saw it on the news. I'm dead, BJ." 

"So where am I?" 

"The nurses had to sedate you. You didn't take the news very well." 

"Herb, do you think...I mean, why did you wanna visit me?" 

"I can't answer that. This is your dream." 

"Then can you tell me that you love me?" 

"Yeah, BJ, I love you more than anything." 

"Thank you."


End file.
